99 Problems
by bouncingcrow
Summary: Clint Barton, SHIELD Agent and master assassin, has a few issues...
1. Chapter 1

**99 Problems**

**Inspired by the following video: ****.com/watch?v=TsfActafojc**

**Clint Barton, S.H.I.E.L.D agent and "master assassin", has a few issues.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own these characters, nor do I make any money for this little past time. Alas.**

The lights in the room are assaulting his senses, like fire pokers being shoved into his frontal lobe. There is a buzzing sound in his head that is more like the shriek of a harpy. He squints into the light, and there is a figure standing nearby.

Things start to come back to him now.

_There is a magical scepter pointed at his chest. He doesn't believe in magic._

"Drink."

_The madman tells him he has heart, and then he feels...something overtake him._

He holds the water dumbly in numb fingers, staring at the ripples in the clear liquid. The word is so simple: drink. The action, too, simple, but he can't seem to bring the cup to his lips right away.

_He takes aim, and at the other end of the gun is Director Fury. BAM. He doesn't kill him. Is that on purpose?_

He takes a sip. The water is warm and bitter. As if the systems on the Hellecarrier are damaged. Oh, yeah, he thinks.

_He stands in the hangar of the plane, takes aim, and lets the arrow fly. It meets its target, as they always do. Seconds later, there's an explosion._

He looks at his partner.

"How many...?"

_There are people in his way. He disposes of them. _

His partner shakes her pretty head, "Don't do that to yourself." He knows that means the answer is more than he'd like.

_He is on his way to the engine, to ensure no one gets the bright idea to fix them. He is intent on his mission._

"This is nothing we've ever trained for."

_He is so intent on his mission, that he doesn't hear the killer behind him right away._

The word war plays around in his head. War...it's a big word. It's a big deal. His partner is sitting next to him, "You sound like yourself."

_He still gets the jump on her, turning and lashing out with his bow._

"But you don't." Something in her eyes...something has happened. Well, he thinks, something else.

_She is brutal in their fight, and he is, too. Somewhere inside of him, he knows who this is and wants it to stop._

"Why?"

_He has a knife to her throat, and he is about to win._

He is looking at her, and he is concerned. Is this his fault? He seems sure that it is.

_She bites his arm, and it hurts like nothing else. He is fighting a wild animal. _

"I've been compromised." He wonders at this.

_He does not get an opportunity to recover. The rail of the walkway is coming up to meet his face._

"There is red in my ledger." He knows this, and he understands the humanity she is reaching for.

_His head is jarred, and he is confused for a moment. Oh, hello rail, he thinks. He looks up and sees her. "Tasha?" _

She said war. He doesn't know if they can win a war.

_She grabs him and knocks his head into the rail again._

He looks at her for a moment – was that last blow to the head necessary? I deserved it, he thinks.

_He is holding a scanner to the eye reader. The light turns green – green means go – and he and his team fall in line. They are breaking into a building to retrieve some meteorite for Loki. _

Like a dog, he thinks now. Like a dog fetching for a maniacal master. They look at one another. "I'd like to put an arrow through Loki's eye."


	2. Chapter 2

**99 Problems**

**Inspired by the following video: ****.com/watch?v=TsfActafojc**

**Clint Barton, S.H.I.E.L.D agent and "master assassin", has a few issues.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own these characters, nor do I make any money for this little past time. Alas.**

He is flying a plane again. Too many redundancies in his life currently, he thinks. Reports coming from New York are grim – there's a portal opening up to fuck all that wants to come through.

"_Well, sir, doors open from both sides." Smug bastard response, maybe, but needed to be said._

And, he thinks, I got to help build that portal. Always a good soldier.

_He passes Agent Hill. "We need this vehicle." _

Action time. They are approaching and – what the hell are those things?

_She is confused. "Who is he?" He is not. "I didn't ask." He gets in the Jeep._

Natasha is a good shot. He's not surprised by that, of course.

_He is driving through the tunnel, and Agent Hill is as good as they get. He is shooting at her, and she is shooting at him. _

He is, however, slightly surprised when they lose a wing. Damn, he thinks, those things shoot back, huh?

_Driving through the desert, now. Where are they going? It doesn't matter._

Crash landings are always difficult, but try doing it gracefully in a city. He manages, and he is admittedly happy that there are no casualties. He thinks. Load 'em up and let's load out.

"_And what has the Tesseract shown you?" Loki is slimy, but he doesn't notice it because why would he?_

Tony says that he's bringing the party to them. He has a sinking feeling about this, and when his partner says "How is that a party?", he silently agrees with her implied sentiment.

"_It's shown me my next victim." Lock and load._

He ducks behind a car, as the pieces of the...thing...crash down around them. The Captain is protecting his partner with that shield of his. Well, he thinks, that's nice at least.

_A dirty side of town, and they are outnumbered, outgunned, and he is pretty sure they are going to die._

The mention of Budapest makes him want to vomit, but he doesn't have time.

_It's a risky gamble, but they are out of options. She stands, with her hands up, and they start to approach._

"Clench up, Legolas," Tony delivers with that movie-like quality of one-liners. But he does because he really needs to.

_She is backing up, and he is taking aim._

The rooftops are home, but they usually aren't so crowded and explosive.

_One, two arrows, and he jumps out and dives for her to drag her back to the ground behind another piece of rubble. _

"Try a sharp corner..." he says more, but he isn't sure what thoughts he actually expresses because he takes a shot, and he is met with an explosion.

_They land none too gracefully, and he loses his breath. She is probably not much better off._

Natasha flies past him on one of those flying contraptions, and he is shocked to calm, but he still has to comment.

_Flaming pieces of debris are raining down on them, and she is not waking up quickly enough._

The world is crashing, and his team is failing, and he...is out of arrows.

_He forces himself up and shifts his weight, so he can carry her until she comes to._

Here comes to next wave.

_She wakes, as he is stumbling over the ruins of yet another shit hole in this god-forsaken city. She makes a smart comment that he ignores._

And now he's falling, but luckily he's the best damn archer in the world, and he sends his final arrow into the wall that he is watching soar past.

_Fury is, well, furious. He comes by the name honestly, he thinks._

The rope is taught, and it jars his muscles, but he can't think about that right now because he's about to crash through a window.


	3. Chapter 3

**99 Problems**

**Inspired by the following video: ****.com/watch?v=TsfActafojc**

**Clint Barton, S.H.I.E.L.D agent and "master assassin", has a few issues.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own these characters, nor do I make any money for this little past time. Alas.**

He hears over the comm that Tony is flying a nuke into that hole. Of course. Hero complex, much?

_There was nothing he could do for his brother, but he can blame himself anyway because it's his own damn business._

He watches with the rest as Tony falls from the sky. Gravity is a bitch.

_And his parents, too. He is alone now._

Hulk destroys another building catching him, which is okay, but now Tony isn't waking up. Well, not right away.

_Natasha coughs up a little blood as she sits up, and he feels that self-blame again, but the admonishment in her eyes tells him not to._

"There's this shawarma place..." He wonder what the hell Tony is talking about. Apparently the fall addled his mind.

_He is sitting in the rafters, watching that blue box spark and flare and whatever else it is doing. This does not bode well._

Loki cowers before them all in force. They have decided not to kill him, so he doesn't get an opportunity to shoot him in the eye.

_Loki stands before a mass of humanity, and they are bowing to him. _

His leg is propped on Natasha's chair, but it still aches. Every part of him aches, and he can think of nothing but his own bed.

_He wakes on a stone slab, and he knows that he is losing the battle. If he is not found soon, he will die. _

The shawarma is dry, and all he can taste is the dust that is still settling from their epic battle against, he still thinks it's ridiculous, aliens.

_The water runs red for a few moments, while the blood mixes with it. After a while, though, the red is gone from his hands, and he dries them on a towel. Out damn spot, he thinks._

The city is in ruins, and he knows that it is just a matter of time before fingers are pointed. He wonders if any will be pointed at them.

"_Who are these Avengers? I don't feel any safer." Some people have already turned on them._

The funeral is today, and he is dressed in black, but he is not sure that that is a fair demonstration of mourning for an assassin who always wears black.

_Agent Coulson is carrying a gun, and he is unaware of Loki's mind-fuck ability to project his own image. He is stabbed in the back because Loki is a coward._

Not a lot of people are here. Not a lot of people get close to S.H.I.E.L.D agents because they are not supposed to be close to people.

"_I will make him kill you in every way that he knows you fear." And he could have done, that, too, he knows._

She also knows it, so it is difficult to stand close to her at the funeral without feeling that guilt. She tells him not to feel guilty, and she is not awkward, but he cannot shake the feeling.

"_I've been compromised." _

Steve signed those silly cards, and he puts them in the ground with Coulson. It's a touching gesture, but he thinks it's just as silly to put them in the ground with a corpse. Coulson is gone now.

_He is aiming at this strange man who is, well, mud wrestling with the other agent. He can't get a good sight on him – damn, that's a lot of mud. _

They all stand together, waiting for the prisoner. He looks at Natasha, telling her with his eyes that he would prefer dealing with the madman in his own way. She shrugs sympathetically.

_The small town is in ruin – leveled really. Reports are that the man that he didn't shoot may have had something to do with it...but he's on our side._

Thor holds Loki, his _adopted_ brother by the arm, and Loki's not going anywhere, except of course, away from the reach of his arrows.

"_Take some time off," Fury says. "Then we'll debrief, and we'll begin clean up." _

The tesseract is placed inside a box of some sort. Like the prisoner, it's going out of reach. He's not sure how he feels about all of that.

_He shoot an arrow, which hits the computer, and the connecters plant the computer virus. The second engine goes out, and the damned hellecarrier is going to go down. _

Thor says goodbye to them, and though there are smiles of friendship, the fact is that a solid ally is leaving, too.

_The hellecarrier is worse for wear – two engines down, thanks to him. Clean up is an understatement._

The group is dispersing, and Tony has a much nicer car than him.

As they watch Thor and Loki prepare to leave, Natasha approaches Clint and whispers in his ear - "99 problems..."

Clint smiles at this and looks down at her.


End file.
